Chocolate Chip Cookies and the Definition of “Family”

What does family mean? This is what it means to me.

Recently, I baked some cookies. I hadn’t had freshly home-baked cookies in a while and I figured I might as well try to make them myself. Of course I had help, but it was pretty much my idea and work that got the cookies made. Turns out, they were good cookies and people liked them. Yay me!

But my reasons for making the cookies weren’t just influenced by the singular need to eat them. I wanted to make them for my “family”. I put that word in quotes because I’m going to try to broaden its meaning further than what its dictionary meaning is and try to talk about who is my family.

First, there’s the literal definition of Family. Blood relatives. In terms of the cookies, my mom had helped me by finding the ingredients for me when I’d asked where they were and she, my dad, and my sister had the cookies first (After me of course; what do you think I am, generous?). These people are important in your early life and as you get older you realize how even more important they are. Or so I’m told. I’m still a teenager so that sort of sentimentality hasn’t properly hit yet. But the problem with that family is that you don’t get to choose them. If you have a conflict with someone, it’s not easily solved by just walking away. When you still live in a house with them, you still have to deal with them every day. For many people this is a rough thing to do, but as every single Disney movie as taught me: Family is important. They are a part of you no matter how much you may deny it.

But what about a different kind of family? Maybe a sort of family that you may not even see face to face? This second example is the family that you choose. Most people call them friends. I don’t have many friends, but I have a lot of family. I’m in a specific online community that’s devoted to what essentially is DnD for sports nerds (you should join, tell them Jiggly sent you). This is a community where each person lives their own separate lives independent from the “sim league”, but use the league as an escape to talk to different people. And for me, someone whose days are filled with either being locked up in my room or aimlessly wandering around a campus, it is a MAJOR escape in terms of being able to have something at least resembling human interaction. But that’s just friends. What moves these people into “family” territory for me? It’s simple: caring.

I’ll keep the details confidential (even though anyone from that community will clearly remember this night), but there’s a young user who was going through some rough shit one day and I spent all night on Discord trying to do my best to talk them through it. Because of this, they jokingly called me “Mom”. I honestly embraced the name because I thought it was funny and I figured the kid would need some sort of extra guidance in the coming days. Do I know who this kid is outside of the league? No. Do I know what he even looks like? No. Do I at least know his real name? Maybe, I think I forgot. But I care about them. And I know that if I say something asking for help, they’d care enough about me to help me.

While that’s just one person I was talking about there, I have countless stories of all these different specific people who have become like family to me because of how much I trust them. Maybe I’m too trusting, but whatever. But I’m sure that many of you can relate to that idea of a community of online people who you that even if you’ve never seen their face, you’d absolutely look to them for help in a heartbeat. That’s not just a friend. That’s family.

Also, since I couldn’t send them the cookies, I was telling them all about my plans to bake cookies and made sure to send them pictures of the cookies right out of the oven. So that’s how they fit into the cookie story-line.

This still leaves a whole lot of cookies unaccounted for, especially since my sim league family didn’t eat any of the cookies. I wanted to save these people for last, because this is a weird combination of the first two examples. This is a group of people I’ve known my entire life and grown up around. Of course, I’m talking about my Chicago Fire family.

I’ve said this so many times now, but they are truly family to me. These people, especially those who are still here after all of this bullshit that’s come down on us, are so important to me. It’s a dumb thing to say as a writer, but I really don’t know how much more I can explain this than I have in the past. I grew up in the Soldier Field parking garage at Section 8 tailgates and this amazing community has shaped me into who I am today. There is no other word that I can describe this group of people other than “Family”.

Of course, I’d feel a little weird talking about the Fire Family without talking about Sector Latino, who was banned earlier this year. There’s been plenty of coverage on this situation and I don’t think that a “professional opinion” from me is needed. While not exactly where I planned this post going, this whole idea of “Family” extends to this as well. The most poignant words I can muster is this:

The Chicago Fire is not just a “team”, it’s not a “franchise”; it is a Club, it is a Culture, and it is a Family. And when you cut off a part of that family you cut off a part of yourself.

So when I made cookies “for my family”, I made sure that I baked them the night before the final home game of the season and handed them out to everyone at the tailgate. And I absolutely plan on making more for next season.

I guess this is about as much as I feel that I can write tonight, but I’ll try to sum my ideas: You can’t choose your family. Even when you technically do, they also have to choose you. It’s about having a mutual concern for the others’ well-being. It’s about love. And love is about giving everything and expecting nothing in return. When there’s an issue, solve it. Because no matter how much you can deny it they’re still family and in the end it’s not about how many friends you have, but how many of them aren’t friends, but family.

(I just realized I didn’t add a single .gif into this piece, so here’s one now)

7tlr

Juan Luis Anangono and Volume Shooting

How a failed Designated Player isn’t that different from Bruce Springsteen when you think about it

Usually whenever I “come back” to writing, I try to write something beforehand about how I “want to find myself a schedule” and that whole thing. Basically, I enjoy writing about myself and what I’ve been doing and then not doing anything for months. So I’m gonna break that chain by just starting this weekly series right away. That’s right, this is the first in a (hopefully) weekly series where I just talk about some sort of concept while connecting it to random other things. This week, while I may not be writing a “what I’ve been doing and why I want to write again”, I will absolutely be talking about why I’m writing again. And it has something to do with a man that not even many Chicago Fire fans will remember.

I’m pretty sure you’ve all heard the line, “‘You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take – Wayne Gretzky’ – Michael Scott.” It’s fairly easy to remember and understand. If you don’t shoot you don’t score. If you don’t take a risk, you won’t get the reward. Simple.

A “Volume Shooter” in pretty much every sport where shooting is concerned, is someone who takes that ideology to the max. Not only do they shoot, but they keep shooting no matter what. In basketball it’s usually a shooting guard, a sniper in hockey, and a striker in soccer. While they may score at a low rate per shot, they score at a higher rate per minute because of the sheer amount of shots they take.

So is this blog post going to basically just be me explaining a very simple sports concept or no reason? Absolutely!

tenor

Just kidding, of course it’s not. While the term “Volume Shooter” is used in sports, it applies to many other professions and aspects of life as well. That person who’s always looking for an extra side hustle to get some more money? Volume shooter. Someone who’s always on Tinder? Volume shooter. If there is a risk and a reward, there will almost always be someone willing to take that risk over and over in hopes to gain that reward. And there’s no sort of person that I think exemplifies this concept than songwriters (yup, I’m going there).

Recently I dug up a quote from Our Lady of Distortion herself, Annie Clark, from fairly early in her career (Actor-era) where she was talking about how she was trying to improve her own writing:

“Everyone, I think, probably, makes some really terrible music. And hopefully as you make more and more and more music, either the bad stuff gets kind of diluted by the good stuff or you have some sort of self-awareness and refinement to your ear and to your palate where you start making less and less and less embarrassing music.” -Annie Clark (source)

Annie’s a smart lady and uses fancy words. Let me dumb it down: If you write for long enough, you either get better at it or you’ll just make enough good songs that everyone will forget your bad ones. This tactic was used very effectively by Bruce Springsteen who, to be completely fair, has had a whole lot of stinkers in his day. Of course, art is subjective, but back in the day an album came out pretty much every year whether you were ready for it or not so while there was some magic on there, there was also plenty of crap. There’s certainly a place for it, but there’s a reason it’s called “album filler”. It still happens to other bands and even I’m guilty of putting songs I feel aren’t really good on an album because I just had space.

But it’s that second part of her quote that’s what this whole post is about. This whole idea of Volume Shooting is that it’s not just that you should be getting more hits simply by doing more everything. You should also be getting better by doing more. That’s what “practice” is.

tenor1

This is where Juan Luis Anangono fits in for me. One of the many failed Designated Players signed by the Chicago Fire, at least this guy played games for us instead of being loaned off somewhere else… okay, he was eventually loaned off to LDU Quito. But my point is that I liked the guy because in a very boring season (until we got Magee) he was fairly exciting. Although, that was solely because whenever he shot the ball, I knew it would hit the post. Without question. The dude was the biggest cock-tease striker I’ve ever seen. Always so close to getting something done, but never quite getting there. After two seasons with the Fire, he scored only 4 goals.

Was Anangono a volume shooter? To be honest, I don’t quite remember. I just remember the feeling every time he shot and thinking that this might finally be the one where he scores on it, only to get a loud clang off of the crossbar. No matter how many shots he took, he never got any better.

So this comes back around to me as a very vivid fear that I have: Not being able to improve. Sure, there’s always ways to improve and make yourself better; but when you feel like you’re stuck doing the same thing every time you try to do something different, it weighs on you. When it comes to my writing, I’ve been trying to take it more seriously than I did with the last album. I’ve thought about it in this way for a while: The LP was a proof of concept, the first album was to prove to myself that “Yes, I can,” but this second album feels like I now need to prove to others that I can not only do it again but show growth alongside it as well. It’s a weight that I put on my own shoulders.

So that’s why I’m writing again. I want to make sure I have keep up a steady stream of writings so I can keep myself loose and able to do more. Writing isn’t that different from shooting. You just need to keep doing it and doing it and the only difference is that while you can lift weights and do other exercises to improve your physical capacity to score in soccer, basketball, and hockey, when it comes to writing the only way to improve is to just write.

My hope once again comes in good ol’ “Anan-no-goal”. In one of his last games for the Fire, he scored a brace in the US Open Cup. It was a good game too, I think it was in extra time. And I just checked his wiki page and apparently just this past year, he’s scored 12 goals in the league for Quito (with 8 goals last season) and has even picked up 3 goals in Copa Libertadores.

There’s hope for everyone. Don’t just “shoot your shot.” Keep shooting.

(I want to come up with something clever to say at the end of these posts as a send-off, but I can’t think of anything yet, so here’s a .gif instead)

tumblr_n7k1rnuiih1qfkrx6o1_500

Initial Reactions to Making an Album

I finished my album so I decided to write about it

(This stream of consciousness “diary entry” was written around midnight this morning)

So I just finished editing/mixing down the LP. Or album. I still don’t know what the specific classification is and I’ll probably figure it out later. I started out calling it an LP, but I gradually felt more and more like I wanted to fully stake ownership on the work, saying that this is what I wanted it to sound like. I think that was my thinking while recording it, now after hearing it a bit, I kinda want a bit of a do-over in a place with better sound recording and someone who actually knows what they’re doing at the board.

I’ve been saying that I started writing this album after my minor breakdown after the Fire’s playoff loss, but the writing has been an ongoing project. I think the oldest song in there is about 2 years old and there were a couple that I could’ve used but ended up not doing that were even older.

The biggest thing that this taught me was that I needed to find a way to help myself. And I think that that’s a main theme in the more recent songs that I wrote: the realization that the cavalry isn’t coming, I have to step up or else nothing will happen. Going back to waiting for a guitarist to help me, finding one, then losing one, and then just hoping I’d find another. I wanted to create music, but I let my own mental limitations get in the way. I knew I couldn’t play guitar. I knew I wasn’t ready to just release my music. But at some point I just decided, fuck it.

I mostly released “A Flare Gun, A First Aid Kit, A Cell Phone, and A Boat LP” as a joke, but doing so led me to finding out that people might actually like the music that I enjoy doing. So I decided to learn guitar. Being almost purely self-taught, I probably have terrible habits and am probably doing many things wrong, but I was having fun playing.

I think it’s an interesting contrast between the sound that I made and the emotion that I felt making the album/LP. I was writing and playing and practicing using really pretty depressing music, but doing so made me so happy. I was able to take songs that I grew up with and pound them out. I was taking pieces of art made by others and putting them through my own filter. How could I not be excited? And when it came time for me to write the chords to my old songs or write completely new ones, I was fucking stoked! I think the only one that didn’t put a smile on my face when I was done writing was the one I wrote the day after the playoff loss.

I’m writing all over the place now, but I’m writing because this isn’t something that’s big. I haven’t signed with any record label yet and I don’t exactly have friends in those kinds of places who could help do that for me. No one’s going to interview me, so I’m going to interview me. This album is a first step into a great unknown. I don’t know if people will like it, but unlike the previous release, I’m damn proud of it. I don’t know if I’ll be able to continue doing it, but at this moment in time music is all I want to do.

But maybe that’s the point here. I said that I knew a lot of things last year, but within the past 4-6 months I remembered that I don’t really know anything. I’ve always told myself that true wisdom comes with admitting you don’t know and I always remember that too late. Fear is what forces us to not admit the unknown, because what if there’s something horrible there?

Fuck it, I’m getting too philosophical right now, but that’s what this is doing to me and honestly it’s what goes through my head most of the time when I start writing about my feelings.

Bottom line: I’m really happy about this accomplishment and all I want to do is more of this shit.

I’ve still got a formal announcement and a shit ton of DIY marketing to do, but I’m just glad that I’ve got something down.

Jiggly’s Draft Chat: Combine Recap Days 1 & 2

Jiggly talks about the Combine and who liked in the first couple of days.

Back to the Hub World

So I’ve been pretty late on this stuff. I could say I did other things the past couple days, but honestly I just kept willfully thinking “No, I’ll get it done later.” But since you’re reading this, I guess I did get it done (or I found this in my drafts a couple months later). So here’s some players that I have thoughts on after watching them play. We’re gonna do a “Stock Up/Stock Down” situation here, so buckle up. Or, you know, do whatever, it’s not a big shake to the system to do this.

Stock Up

Jon Bakero

Bakero was absolutely outstanding on Day One, setting up Albert Ruiz for the first goal of the Combine and just generally controlling the game. He did a bit less in the second game, but I think that this cements him as a Top 3 pick. He still takes up an international slot, but after these performances, teams aren’t going to care about that; especially teams that were bad enough to be that high in the Draft.

Jordan Jones

This is our first big surprise of the Combine. Jones has a massive motor on him and is really impressing me with his work rate at the tip of the spear. Also of note, he’s a big dude and deadly in the air. His goal on Day One was basically him sticking with the ball even after it got saved, just pushing always for that goal. It might get him into trouble with looking for goals in the wrong places, but for now he looks pretty good.

Frandtzy Pierrot and Mamadou Guirassy

I couldn’t decide between the two because they were all over the Team X front-line. Both had great work rates in the box and got back on defense when needed. Really, I half hope they end up on the same team in MLS because they were a great tandem. Pierrot is more of a target man in the box, while Guirassy actually has some moves on him. Just a great one-two punch.

Stock Down

Thomas Hillard-Arce

I don’t expect this to actually change his stock at all, but I don’t think anyone was impressed by Hillard-Arce the past few days. He just hasn’t performed to the level that we all know he can. He was overshadowed by Moutinho in the first game and picked up the first booking of the Combine in the second one. But he might just be resting up because Bradley already told him he’s their golden boy. It just seems kinda stupid that he’s even playing if that’s the case. I just want to see a good performance from him to at least use as a benchmark or something.

Gordon Wild

Already coming into the Combine with questions surrounding him, Wild hasn’t done much to settle them. Being virtually silent in the first game, he finally showed up a bit in the second. Unfortunately, it was through some unnecessary long shots, almost as if he could feel the judging looks and he was getting frustrated. He came close once or twice, but really didn’t show anything encouraging to a team to have them pick him up.

The Mere Thought of a Central Midfield

This sounds weird, but roll with me on it. I don’t know what it was about this year, maybe it’s the style of play, but there was almost no play in the center of the pitch. At least nothing that looked good. I feel bad for teams that are completely set up on the attack and are looking to fill holes in the middle of their spine because I cannot find anyone who can do that for them. Maybe if they want a #10 or a winger, but I haven’t seen anything below that. I hope it’s because of tactics and not that all the midfielders in this draft are shit, but it isn’t pretty out there at times. Everyone seems to prefer to be further out wide than teams normally play and when the ball moves over, it doesn’t usually get stuck in at the center of the pitch, it stays in a certain end for a certain period of time then gets flung down the side to the other end. While it may be good tactics, this isn’t doing any favors to the midfield players trying to get noticed.

Jiggly on Fire: Lindley Rejects Fire

I have thoughts on a recent development in Chicago Fire news.

I don’t know what to specifically call pieces here where I talk about the Fire. Especially since this is a “personal blog” and not a “Fire-centric” or “soccer-centric” blog. But I felt like it was important to write out my opinion on what just happened and how I think this all happened. So we’re gonna shoot first and ask questions later about the format, I really feel like this needs to be discussed.

So first, Paul Tenorio, while discussing Cyle Larin stuff also mentioned that the Chicago Fire was trading the homegrown rights for star North Carolina midfielder Cam Lindley to Orlando. Later multiple insiders mentioned Cam Lindley having rejected a contract with the Fire.

So if you’re reading this, it means that you care about this topic. If you care, that means you’ve seen this whole thing on Twitter. If not, go check out Dan Santaromita’s write-up on NBC Chicago. You can find as many facts as you need there. What I’m about to do isn’t a report, it’s more of an opinionated analysis piece. So that’s the facts, here’s my thoughts.

This is what happens when you fuck with your academy (forgot to mention, apologies to anyone who’s not a fan of vulgar language).

In high school, I knew a ton of kids who actually had friends in the academy. Hell, there was an academy player in my math class. This was around the time where I was just starting out with writing about the Fire and looking at the team objectively, so I was always asking questions about the feel with the academy, about the players there, about who were the best, who would sign for the Fire. And right in the middle of that time, massive changes hit the academy as Larry Sunderland left for Portland, multiple academy coaches left including Fire legend Gonzalo Segares, and the guy who was holding it all up since the beginning, John Dorn, decided to leave.

I’ve gotten mixed reports on what the players thought of Larry Sunderland. One guy said everyone hated him, other guys said everyone loved him. What can’t be denied is that he built and led some of the best academy teams in the country. The Fire may not have been doing all the things that FC Dallas and Atlanta United are doing, but somehow with someone like Sunderland at the helm, the team won. But I don’t think he had much to do with Lindley’s decision.

When it comes to Sega, he was only a part of the academy for a short time between retiring from his playing career and moving on to FC United (a club academy team). But although that time was short, he really set himself into the culture. And not just the culture of the way these players played, but at every available opportunity he tried to instill in the U-18s what it meant to wear the Chicago badge.

While he didn’t set it up, there was a game in April against the Crew Wolves a couple years ago where a few days before the game, he showed the kids videos of CJ Brown, telling them about his passion for the club and what it meant for him, and Sega himself, to put on a Fire jersey and wear that badge bin front of Section 8. After hearing about this, some leaders in Section 8 decided to show up and attempt to give it at least a little bit of a feel as to what it’s like to have Chicago behind them. Starring in that game for the academy: players like Djordje Mihailovic, Mauricio Pineda, and Cam Lindley.

Then, the coaching license incident happened and Sega was gone.

So to bring this back around to Lindley, he was a product of a wonderful academy, that was taken down in such an unnecessary way. When I talked to one of the players while this was happening, he told me that most players were planning on just going to college. No one was really interested in signing with the Fire. I thought this was about getting an education, but you can very well see how these kids could feel betrayed by such stupid actions from the Fire’s head office.

Where does that leave us here? Should Fire fans feel betrayed? I guess maybe if you want to, but I don’t blame Lindley. I think that it’s entirely okay to not want to sign with a team that threw away a man who loved it so much. And one thing I realized when looking at where he was being traded. When it comes to the Fire, we’ve produced a ton of players turned coaches, especially the way older players. And there’s one man who embodied a love of the Fire so much, but couldn’t stay around here: Orlando City assistant coach, CJ Brown.

I might be reading too far into this, but this is something to think about with all of what happened. This didn’t just come out of nowhere. How can you expect young players to “be loyal” to a club that can’t even be loyal to those who love it? Good luck with your career, Cam. Please fake an injury before each game against the Fire.

Edit: This deal was made official on January 18th.

 

Jiggly’s Draft Chat: Let The Games Begin

The MLS Combine teams have been announced so let’s talk about it!

Back to the Hub World

Yesterday while I wasn’t paying attention, MLS announced its official Combine rosters and their schedules. While the NFL Combine is mostly based on skill workouts to get raw data out of the players, the MLS Combine is more based in just playing the game. They also do workouts, but APPARENTLY they’re not visible to the public! Still fairly angry about that, but we’ll move on. Here comes my overview of the teams and the one game to watch. But before that, here’s the full schedule:

Saturday, Jan. 13: 11:30 PM CT: Nemeziz vs. Predator || 2:30 PM CT: X vs. Tango

Monday, Jan. 15: 11:30 PM CT: Nemeziz vs. X || 1:30 PM CT: Predator vs. Tango

Wednesday, Jan. 17: 9 AM CT: X vs. Predator || 11 PM CT: Tango vs. Nemeziz

All Games Will Be On MLS’ YouTube Page

I’m not going to waste space here listing out every team’s entire lineup, so here’s a mini Porg of Adventure so you can go to my spreadsheet where I’ve got everyone’s names color-coded to the team they’re on.

0e4505a704947bc6dbded3c9484c96841ef7026c_128

Team Tango

This is definitely the team to watch for defensive purposes. With the two best defensive prospects in Tom Hillard-Arce and Joao Moutinho, this team was built to test the other teams’ attackers. While that’s the defense, it’ll be interesting to see how the recently added Jose Carrera-Garcia and Edward Opoku (newly minted GA player) work together, with Schaumburg native Chris Mueller working somewhere around there. The tip of the spear is going to be provided by Alan Winn and Afonso Pinheiro. As I said, this team isn’t built to score, it’s built to be a brick wall for the other prospects to face up against. The difficulty in scoring is going to be added by Eric Dick’s presence in goal. They’ll be an interesting group to watch, mostly to see how Hillard-Arce and Moutinho perform.

Team Predator

If Team Tango was built for defense, this one was built for the attack. The record-breaking Albert Ruiz and MAC Hermann Award winning Jon Bakero are going to be up top for this team, along with defender/forward hybrid Mark Segbers. Holding down the midfield will be GA Mo Adams and NCAA DII Player of the Year Thomas Vancaeyezeele (I’m not even going to attempt to pronounce that). In the back, they’ve got Kentucky stand-out Alex Bumpus and All-ACC defender Markus Fjortoft. Standing behind them all will be Jeff Caldwell.

Team X

This is the lucky team with TWO goalkeepers. Paul Christensen and Ben Lundgaard will have to find a way to split time evenly so both get a good look from the scouts. My money’s on Lundgaard getting the most time out there. On defense, there’s Maryland defender George Campbell and All-WCC Ben White. In the middle, the two to watch are Brian Iloski out of UCLA and Georgetown All-American Chris Lema. The interesting thing to really watch for on this team is how GA Gordon Wild performs after a  very unimpressive Junior year. Next to him will be fellow GA Francis Atuahene and Guinea U20 prospect Mamadou Guirassy.

Team Nemeziz

Finally we get to the Midfield team, with Alex Roldan, Ema Twumasi, and Ken Krolicki leading the way. The defense looks slightly better than the other teams, with Louisville fullback Tim Kubel and Dartmouth centerback Wyatt Omsberg. A bit further back is SMU goalkeeper Michael Nelson, who’s also an All-American. Rounding it out on top is the player who’s the most statistically impressive striker, Danny Musovski, along with Louisville’s Mo Thiaw and GA Mason Toye. This team’s also notable because they get the one Youth International, Ghanaian attacker Issaka Nyemewero, who’s been incredible for Danbort FC in Division 1.

The One Game to Watch:

Team Predator vs. Team Tango; Monday, January 15th, 1:30 CT

Offense vs. Defense. Tale as old as time. While Hillard-Arce met up with both Moutinho and Bakero in the NCAA Tourney, I don’t think he’s ever seen Ruiz before. Speaking of which, the rest of MLS continues to sleep on Albert Ruiz, but I refuse to. After missing out on a ton of games this past season, it’s only fair to continue to look to his Junior season. If he performs in the way that FGCU fans know he can, he’s going to do just fine in MLS. Taking on both TopDrawerSoccer #1’s at once (Hillard-Arce for upperclassmen, Moutinho for underclassmen) is going to prove it. Also, Bakero won the MAC Hermann and is known for being a good distributor, so the stage is set for Ruiz as long as he takes the chance.

Jiggly’s Draft Chat: Mock Draft V1.0

Here comes more Draft stuff. This time, it’s a mock draft.

Back to the Hub World

1. Los Angeles FC

Tom Hillard-Arce, Defender, Stanford

No surprise here. He’s the best player in a long time and helps Bob Bradley build up that spine some more. With Vela up top, Feilhaber in the middle of the pitch, and now Hillard-Arce in the back, I think we’ve got another Atlanta United situation here. Or should I say, a potential ’98 Fire situation. Has the potential to be a franchise player, as much as a defender can be a franchise player.

2. LA Galaxy

Alex Roldan, Midfielder, Seattle

Where I think the Galaxy really suffered was their inability to hold the midfield. Sure, they can pick up one of the GA forwards, but that doesn’t make sense for their situation. They’ve got Dos Santos and two young forwards (well, one not as young anymore). I think they take Roldan as a #10, which is something they drastically need to help out players like Alessandrini and Dos Santos.

3. DC United

Jon Bakero, Forward, Wake Forest

The MAC Hermann Trophy winner joins last year’s winner in Ian Harkes. I think that this would be a great move for the team to bring these two back together. If DC wants to improve they need to work with what they’ve got and if they want to help Harkes get more comfortable, bring in his old partner. And it’s especially better when that old partner is someone as decorated as Bakero.

4. Montreal Impact

Joao Moutinho, Defender, Akron

Montreal’s defense is kinda pitiful, so they should get a defender. Best defender available by far here is Moutinho, who’s also a GA player. This adds even more incentive for Montreal to pick him up because he’s not going against the cap. It’s a pretty simple pick.

5. Minnesota United

George Campbell, Defender, Maryland

5-1. 6-1. 5-2. 4-1. Yeah, Minnesota needs defenders.

6. Orlando City

Tim Kubel, Defender, Louisville

Orlando needs a nice attacking fullback. Kubel is a good one.

Et cetera, et cetera.

7. Montreal impact

Chris Mueller, Forward, Wisconsin

They already picked up a defender, so why not give them one of the best attackers in the draft. Simple, simple stuff.

8. New England Revolution

Oliver Shannon, Midfielder, Clemson

New England needs some help in the central midfield. I’ve also mentioned his leadership skills and I think that New England is also in need of that as well. Just a smart move.

9. New England Revolution

Lucas Stauffer, Defender, Creighton

They also need some extra help in the middle of the defense. Simple and smart.

10. Real Salt Lake

Francis Atuahene, Forward, Michigan

RSL should be looking at an attacking player, so of course they should go after a guy like Atuahene. GA contracts FTW!

11. FC Dallas

Ema Twumasi, Midfielder, Wake Forest

I really don’t know what went wrong with Dallas this season. So, best player available. GA, too. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

12. San Jose Earthquakes

Danny Musovski, Forward, UNLV

Wondo is good, but he’s getting old. Very old. They need a new goalscorer. Musovski has 47 goals in 71 starts. They also don’t have a really good striker available, so this guy should help them out.

13. Sporting Kansas City

Mo Adams, Midfielder, Syracuse

Although the team likes the 4-2-3-1 formation, they’re a bit weak at the “2” part. I suggest Mo Adams, a GA player who was applauded for his ability to play at the holding midfield position. I think he’ll be very happy there.

14. Atlanta United

Rafael Andrade Santos, Midfielder, VCU

What do you get the girl who has everything? Atlanta has been doing almost everything right. Last year they took a flyer on a Combine stand-out, Julien Gressel, and he showed up big for them. I expect them to do something similar here, although this is pre-combine so I’ll just pop this Brazilian #10 here since he seems like the sort of player they’d get.

15. Chicago Fire

Albert Ruiz, Forward, FGCU

For the past few years, the Fire have taken curveballs at their pick and I think this year will be no different. Mostly, I expect them to deal around in the first round so this may not even be their pick. But if it is, I think N-Rod and Pauno might just take my suggestion of Albert Ruiz. Yes, it’s an international slot, but we might have a couple spots opening up. We are also in dire need of a backup striker. Basically any sort of depth on the attacking end, especially with De Leuuw out at the beginning of the season. Seriously, if this happens, I won’t question the process ever again (okay, maybe I will, but whatever; It’d be a good move). The last time they drafted someone I liked in the draft, he was a solid rock on the backline for almost the entire season.

16. New York Red Bulls

Brian Iloski, Midfielder, UCLA

The Red Bulls are kind of imploding, trading away their midfield captain two off-seasons in a row. They need to fill that space back up and I think they’ll find a good good scoring threat in him. I think he can find a spot on their line-up in a supportive role.

17. Vancouver Whitecaps

Ben Ludgaard, Goalkeeper, Virginia Tech

Why a goalkeeper? Why not? Honestly, I think that the Whitecaps take a chance with getting a first round GK, since I don’t really see any specific holes or any player that could really help them. So screw it, you can never have too many punters.

18. Sporting Kansas City

Gordon Wild, Forward, Maryland

How did this guy fall so far? This is what happens when you have a bad season. If he was given a GA a year earlier, I think he’s going Top 10. But now, there are doubts, such terrible doubts. KC just recently traded away Dom Dwyer. I think they need to find a new guy to take that spot on the tip of their spear and they might be the ones to take a chance on Wild.

19. New York City FC

Tristan Blackmon, Defender, Pacific

I think that Sean Johnson deserves a better defense behind him. Blackmon should help.

20. Houston Dynamo

Mason Toye, Forward, Indiana

Best player available. He’s a good striker. Also, a GA. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

21. Austin Columbus Crew

Ben White, Defender, Gonzaga

MOAR DEFENDERS!!!! Seriously, almost every team in the league is pretty set on the attacking end. It’s really the defense that needs help in MLS. The Crew are going to take the best defender available.

22. Seattle Sounders

Mark Segbers, Defender, Wisconsin

Take the best player available. If you can’t bring the Roldan brothers together, why not pick up a nice attacking fullback?

23. Toronto FC

Eric Dick, Goalkeeper, Butler

Similar questions as with Atlanta. How you can you improve this team further? Well, with Clint Irwin seemingly gone after the revelation that is Alex Bono, they might need a new backup GK. I like this guy and I think he is much better than the GK I said the Whitecaps would get.